


The Three Little Gryffindors

by why_me_why_not



Series: Harry Potter fairy tales [1]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-15
Updated: 2021-02-15
Packaged: 2021-03-17 13:21:01
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,455
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29472357
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/why_me_why_not/pseuds/why_me_why_not
Summary: Once upon a time there were three little Gryffindors named Peter, Remus, and Sirius.  These three Gryffindors were charged with protecting their friends, the Potter family.
Series: Harry Potter fairy tales [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2164797
Comments: 2
Kudos: 2





	1. Happily Ever After

Once upon a time there were three little Gryffindors named Peter, Remus, and Sirius. These three Gryffindors were charged with protecting their friends, the Potter family. Each of the three was to build a house for their friends to stay in. Right now they were _supposed to be_ discussing where the Potters would stay first, but they weren’t getting much accomplished with Sirius dancing around the room with Harry in tow.

Sirius was singing to Harry: “Who’s afraid of Vold-ee-mort, Vold-ee-mort, Vold-ee-mort? Who’s afraid of Vold-ee-mort? Tra-la-la-la-la. I’ll punch him in the nose; I’ll tie him in a knot; I’ll kick him in the shin; we’ll put him on the spot!”

“Sorry, he was dropped on his head,” Remus explained. “Recently.”

Lily just rolled her eyes and regretted ever bringing a book of fairy tales to Hogwarts with her. 

The first house the Potters went to was the house of Peter. Now, Peter wasn’t the smartest wizard of his time. He was far from it, actually, and recently had been acting strangely, like something was up his sleeve. Peter’s house was made of straw. The itchy kind, not the soft, sweet-smelling kind. While Peter, James, and Lily were enjoying tea, and little Harry was making a mess with shortbread biscuits, there came a loud banging at the door. 

James glanced out the window. “It’s Voldemort!” he whispered frantically, gesturing for Lily to pick Harry up. He prepared to defend his wife and child, realizing for the first time that Peter had failed to put up any wards on his home.

“Gryffindors, Gryffindors, let me come in!” demanded Voldemort.

No one inside the small straw house answered. 

Voldemort repeated, “Gryffindors, Gryffindors, let me come in!”

Again there was no reply.

“Then I’ll _Swish_ , and I’ll _Flick_ , and I’ll _Spell_ your house down!!” So he _Swished_ , and he _Flicked_ , and he _Spelled_ the little straw house down. 

Just before the house collapsed, Peter and the Potters Disapparated and found themselves in front of a slightly larger house, this one made of sticks bound together with twine. This was the house of their friend Remus. Now, Remus was more sincere than Peter in his desire to help his friends, but he was unfortunately lacking in the necessary funds to lavish on a larger or sturdier house. Besides, anything sturdier would have required mortar to hold it together, all the trowels in the Wizarding world were made of pure silver, and to request one made of a different metal would have aroused suspicion. 

“It’s Voldemort!” James told Remus as the werewolf ushered his friends inside the house. 

Sure enough, when Remus looked down the lane, he saw Voldemort storming their way, a sugar cup in his hand. Once in the house, Remus gave a lemon biscuit to a crying Harry in an effort to calm him while the grown Wizards tried to reinforce the wards on the house. 

“Gryffindors, Gryffindors, let me come in!” demanded Voldemort when he came to the door.

“What is this, a Muggle fairy tale?” asked Remus, looking confused as he glanced at his friends. 

Voldemort repeated, “Gryffindors, Gryffindors, let me come in!”

None of the occupants of the stick house answered. 

“Then I’ll _Swish_ , and I’ll _Flick_ , and I’ll _Spell_ your house down!!” So he _Swished_ , and he _Flicked_ , and he _Spelled_ the little stick house down. 

This time Remus, Peter, and the Potters Disapparated and found themselves in front of a large brick house. This was the home of their friend Sirius. Sirius had plenty of money to spend on his house, and he took great delight in using the money from his evil family to thwart Voldemort’s plans. He had charmed the mortar gold so that the house was decorated inside and out in Gryffindor colors—another snub to his family since he was the first Black to _not_ be sorted into Slytherin at school. And he had hired a curse-breaker from Gringotts’ to come and place wards on the house. 

Inside the house, he sat down easily at the table after fishing out a tin of chocolate biscuits and a non-silver tea set. He handed a few biscuits to Harry to keep him occupied. And a few to Lily, who looked like she needed it and besides, what girl doesn’t love chocolate? And a few to Remus as well because, well, Remus was quite a girl sometimes. This done, Sirius leaned back in his chair, causing the front two legs to come off of the floor, and propped his feet on the table as he sipped his cup of tea.

“Sirius!” James yelled, exasperated. “ _Voldemort_ is getting ready to bang on the door and try to spell the house down!” 

Sirius rolled his eyes expressively. “James, don’t be silly. He can’t spell my house down, and he can’t get in. Sit down, have a cup of tea. There is stew in the cauldron that should be done shortly.”

There was a bang at the door. “Gryffindors, Gryffindors, let me come in!” demanded Voldemort.

“Has somebody been reading Voldie fairy tales for bedtime stories?” Sirius laughed. 

Voldemort repeated, “Gryffindors, Gryffindors, let me come in!”

“Not by the hair on my chinny-chin-chin would I open the door so that _you_ could come in!” Sirius shouted, nearly falling off his chair laughing so hard. 

“Then I’ll _Swish_ , and I’ll _Flick_ , and I’ll _Spell_ your house down!!” So he _Swished_ , and he _Flicked_ , and he _Spelled_ the little brick house—

And nothing happened. 

He cursed under his breath and tried again. So he _Swished_ , and he _Flicked_ , and He _Spelled_ the little brick house—

And still nothing happened. 

He looked around the house, trying to find a way through the wards. Ah—the chimney! It wasn’t as heavily warded. With a few well-placed spells, he had removed the wards barring him entry into the house. He Apparated onto the roof and slowly lowered himself down the chimney. About halfway down, he lost his footing and slid the rest of the way down, landing in a large cauldron of boiling stew. The liquid dissolved his wand and then little Harry pointed his Father’s wand, which he had been playing with, at Voldemort with an impish giggle, transforming him in to a potato which sank to the bottom of the cauldron. 

“Darn it, Harry,” Sirius teased, taking the chocolate-covered wand from the toddler’s sticky hands. “You could have made him fall _out_ of the cauldron. Now the stew is ruined. I guess we’re having sandwiches for dinner.” He vanished the cauldron from the fireplace before heading into the kitchen to make sandwiches, humming to himself, “Who’s afraid of Vold-ee-mort…”


	2. Second Verse, Not the Same as the First

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Same story, alternate ending

Once upon a time there were three little Gryffindors named Peter, Remus, and Sirius. These three Gryffindors were charged with protecting their friends, the Potter family. Each of the three was to build a house for their friends to stay in. Right now they were _supposed to be_ discussing where the Potters would stay first, but they weren’t getting much accomplished with Sirius dancing around the room with Harry in tow.

Sirius was singing to Harry: “Who’s afraid of Vold-ee-mort, Vold-ee-mort, Vold-ee-mort? Who’s afraid of Vold-ee-mort? Tra-la-la-la-la. I’ll punch him in the nose; I’ll tie him in a knot; I’ll kick him in the shin; we’ll put him on the spot!”

“Sorry, he was dropped on his head,” Remus explained. “Recently.”

Lily just rolled her eyes and regretted ever bringing a book of fairy tales to Hogwarts with her. 

The first house the Potters went to was the house of Peter. Now, Peter wasn’t the smartest wizard of his time. He was far from it, actually, and recently had been acting strangely, like something was up his sleeve. Peter’s house was made of straw. The itchy kind, not the soft, sweet-smelling kind. While Peter, James, and Lily were enjoying tea, and little Harry was making a mess with shortbread biscuits, there came a loud banging at the door. 

James glanced out the window. “It’s Voldemort!” he whispered frantically, gesturing for Lily to pick Harry up. He prepared to defend his wife and child, realizing for the first time that Peter had failed to put up any wards on his home.

“Gryffindors, Gryffindors, let me come in!” demanded Voldemort.

No one inside the small straw house answered. 

Voldemort repeated, “Gryffindors, Gryffindors, let me come in!”

Again there was no reply.

“Then I’ll _Swish_ , and I’ll _Flick_ , and I’ll _Spell_ your house down!!” So he _Swished_ , and he _Flicked_ , and he _Spelled_ the little straw house down. 

Just before the house collapsed, Peter and the Potters Disapparated and found themselves in front of a slightly larger house, this one made of sticks bound together with twine. This was the house of their friend Remus. Now, Remus was more sincere than Peter in his desire to help his friends, but he was unfortunately lacking in the necessary funds to lavish on a larger or sturdier house. Besides, anything sturdier would have required mortar to hold it together, all the trowels in the Wizarding world were made of pure silver, and to request one made of a different metal would have aroused suspicion. 

“It’s Voldemort!” James told Remus as the werewolf ushered his friends inside the house. 

Sure enough, when Remus looked down the lane, he saw Voldemort storming their way, a sugar cup in his hand. Once in the house, Remus gave a lemon biscuit to a crying Harry in an effort to calm him while the grown Wizards tried to reinforce the wards on the house. 

“Gryffindors, Gryffindors, let me come in!” demanded Voldemort when he came to the door.

“What is this, a Muggle fairy tale?” asked Remus, looking confused as he glanced at his friends. 

Voldemort repeated, “Gryffindors, Gryffindors, let me come in!”

None of the occupants of the stick house answered. 

“Then I’ll _Swish_ , and I’ll _Flick_ , and I’ll _Spell_ your house down!!” So he _Swished_ , and he _Flicked_ , and he _Spelled_ the little stick house down. 

This time Remus, Peter, and the Potters Disapparated and found themselves in front of a large brick house. This was the home of their friend Sirius. Sirius had plenty of money to spend on his house, and he took great delight in using the money from his evil family to thwart Voldemort’s plans. He had charmed the mortar gold so that the house was decorated inside and out in Gryffindor colors—another snub to his family since he was the first Black to _not_ be sorted into Slytherin at school. And he had hired a curse-breaker from Gringotts’ to come and place wards on the house. 

Inside the house, he sat down easily at the table after fishing out a tin of chocolate biscuits and a non-silver tea set. He handed a few biscuits to Harry to keep him occupied. And a few to Lily, who looked like she needed it and besides, what girl doesn’t love chocolate? And a few to Remus as well because, well, Remus was quite a girl sometimes. This done, Sirius leaned back in his chair, causing the front two legs to come off of the floor, and propped his feet on the table as he sipped his cup of tea.

“Sirius!” James yelled, exasperated. “ _Voldemort_ is getting ready to bang on the door and try to spell the house down!” 

Sirius rolled his eyes expressively. “James, don’t be silly. He can’t spell my house down, and he can’t get in. Sit down, have a cup of tea. There is stew in the cauldron that should be done shortly.”

There was a bang at the door. “Gryffindors, Gryffindors, let me come in!” demanded Voldemort.

“Has somebody been reading Voldie fairy tales for bedtime stories?” Sirius laughed. 

Voldemort repeated, “Gryffindors, Gryffindors, let me come in!”

“Not by the hair on my chinny-chin-chin would I open the door so that _you_ could come in!” Sirius shouted, nearly falling off his chair laughing so hard. 

“Then I’ll _Swish_ , and I’ll _Flick_ , and I’ll _Spell_ your house down!!” So he _Swished_ , and he _Flicked_ , and he _Spelled_ the little brick house—

And nothing happened. 

He cursed under his breath and tried again. So he _Swished_ , and he _Flicked_ , and He _Spelled_ the little brick house—

And still nothing happened. 

He looked around the house, trying to find a way through the wards. Ah—the chimney! It wasn’t as heavily warded. With a few well-placed spells, he had removed the wards barring him entry into the house. He Apparated onto the roof and slowly lowered himself down the chimney. About halfway down, he lost his footing and slid the rest of the way down, landing in a large cauldron of boiling stew. The liquid, however, didn’t burn him! Glancing into the room, he saw Peter had his wand pointed at the pot. 

_What a good little rat,_ thought Voldemort fondly as he rose from the fireplace. 

Taking advantage of the stunned expressions on the others’ faces, Voldemort quickly stupefied Remus and Sirius. He would finish them off after he had the boy. He turned to James. “Give me the boy,” he demanded.

“No.” James stood and moved in front of his wife and child. Behind him, Lily was yelling at Peter, asking him how he could betray them.

“Fine.” He pointed his wand at James. “ _Avada Kedavra_.” James’s body dropped to the ground and Lily started backing toward the door with Harry. She couldn’t Apparate from the house, and she wasn’t sure if she could bring the wards down without help. “Last chance, girl,” Voldemort said. “Give me the boy and I’ll let you live.”

“Never!” she yelled back, cradling Harry close to her.

Voldemort raised his wand and uttered the words of the Killing Curse. A green light shot out from his wand and raced towards Lily and Harry. Lily closed her eyes just before it reached her—and there was an explosion. 

Once the dust settled, Remus and Sirius revived to find James and Lily both dead, Harry screaming on the floor between them, and the shell of Voldemort’s body beneath the debris. 

“Is Harry okay?” Remus asked Sirius, who had gotten to the boy first. 

“Yeah,” Sirius answered breathlessly. “Yeah, he is, except for this funny looking scar on his forehead.”

“Good.”

“Where’s Peter?”

“I don’t know. Maybe he changed forms and escaped.”

“Here, take Harry.” Sirius handed the toddler to his friend and grabbed his wand. “The Aurors will be here shortly. I’m Harry’s godfather; tell them I left him with you until I get back.” He headed for the door.

“Wait! Where are you going?”

Sirius turned around and gave him a look that said the answer should have been obvious. “After Peter, of course.”


End file.
